Foster Your Imposter Syndrome
Ah the olde 'Imposter Syndrome'.... I wasn't actually familiar with that term up until a few years ago but after it was explained to me, I was most definitely familiar with some of it's mechanisms!
Perhaps the thread, or aspect of this syndrome that we are all most familiar with is when we feel doubtful about our capability in a work or social environment for example. It also often creeps up with regards to how we see or feel our 'role' within a personal relationship - maybe with a friend or lover.
The inner voice casts a light on you and says: 'You'll be found out'.
We've all had that inner critic right?
So to resolve this critic or to understand this 'Imposter' we can start by asking these questions.
Who is it exactly that 'will be found out'?
And what will be found out?
I wonder....
Let's take the 'who' first. You have multi-personalities. And no, no... not the disorder either (Disassociate Identity Disorder!)
I mean this - you are someone's child, someone's lover, someone's parent, someone's cousin... colleague, team-mate and so forth. These are 'roles' we play in other's lives... and they're also roles we play in our own lives. We take on these roles unconsciously (and automatically) and construct our personality around these roles, or in a spiritual sense: we shape our ego construct.
Your ego is malleable and plays out in different ways depending on the circumstance.
Whether you realize it or not - you have constructed different characters in order to fulfil the needs of that particular role and at any time that it is required of you.
As an example think of this: you can't treat your boss the same way you treat your dog.
You can't use the same language, tone of voice, gestures or facial expressions. That would be weird (!). And you definitely don't tell your boss you love them or stroke their belly as you would your dog...
But here's the point in-case. You adopt, use and carry out a particular set of codes in order to play out your role in that situation.
You are the provider for the dog's needs. For your boss you are the provider of their wants.
Now - on to the 'what' will be found out. Well you see, when we try to actually pin down the 'what', as far as I can see, there is a field of wonderful possibilities behind this.
Take this example.
You've been asked to give a presentation in work and you instantly think 'they're going to see how incompetent I am.. I know nothing about this topic'. Pretty standard and we've all felt this.
But if we step back for a moment - for this all we ever need to do with our mind's chatter - we can dissect the scenario much more rationally.
Why has the request come to you? It suggests in someone else's eyes you have the sufficient skills and knowledge... amazing.
If you don't know anything about the topic, rather than believe the negative outcome (I'm going to fail), why not start to work backwards from that outcome and realize that you are in a position right now to ensure that 'worst case scenario' doesn't come to fruition. Therefore you're in control.
And let's say you do balls up the presentation, it's not that you're an imposter, it's that out of all the roles you can play, this one isn't in your catalogue. That's OK! Maybe your colleague can give an amazing presentation but you can be 100% guaranteed that they cannot fulfill and play out some of the other roles like you can no matter how trivial they seem to you.
Furthermore, you are embodying the human spirit and all that it entails. You are capable of making mistakes but these mistakes will ensure you grow. This is the gift of life!
To close, just think of this: ultimately if we can 'play' the roles of any character so automatically (mother, daughter, sister, friend ), why ever doubt yourself unnecessarily to slip into another costume?
The whole world is a stage as Shakespeare famously said and in India the divine play is known as 'Lila'. If you can just start to watch and witness your roles changing, then you can enjoy it all from the vantage point of yourSelf that never changes.
